I am writing this morning with some fear and trepidation. That’s me being honest. “Will I say the wrong thing? Will I offend or hurt someone I care about? Will I not say enough? Will I say too much? Will I lose a client by speaking to things non-financial or even taboo?” Those are the questions in my head. Those are my fears. Would you read and extend grace to me? I am no expert on these matters. But I do care. We care.
A Discussion about Race
Around two years ago, I was invited by an African American friend to a broad discussion about race. One topic we discussed was police brutality. I listened as several African American fathers detailed talks they had with their sons about what do to if pulled over by a police officer: All windows down; interior lights on; pop the trunk; hands 10 and 2 on the steering wheel.
I just didn’t understand. Why was this necessary? My father never had this talk with me. With time and further discussion, it started to make sense to me. I am part of the majority culture. This isn’t a “white guilt” thing…it’s simply a reality.
As I listened to dear friends and brothers share about their experience in today’s culture, my heart weighed heavily. I was brought to tears, apologized and asked forgiveness for not being more loving and kind to them as they grieved current events. I also made a personal commitment to not be silent the next time those close to me were grieving and lamenting.
A Phone Call
I did not want to watch the Ahmaud Arbery shooting video. But I also did not want to avoid engaging in something extremely hard to watch, especially when I knew my African American friends and brothers were watching it. So I did. And I was disturbed.
Then came the George Floyd video. Same feeling – don’t watch it. It’s too hard. But I did. And I was broken by it.
Remembering my commitment from 2 years ago, I picked up the phone and started calling those closest to me. Yes, I was nervous but refused to let fear reign.
Here are the words from one African American friend: “Scott, I didn’t just see George Floyd in that video. I saw myself. I saw my uncle. I saw my sons.” He then went on to tell me that he lost his appetite for 48 hours after this video surfaced. I thought to myself: “My gracious. My dear brother. I am so sorry. I have no words. But I am here with you. Thanks for trusting me enough to share.”
Our discussion was not, “Well all police officers aren’t bad.” In fact, this dear brother has many friends in law enforcement. He respects them highly.
I am thankful for every phone call I made. Each dear brother shared how they were processing these events personally. I strived to listen and not judge. And they each shared that they were thankful I called.
The reality is this: We will never completely “fix” our problems with humanity on this side of eternity. Sin will always exist until the end of time. Humanity will wage war against one another. I am broken and saddened by this. But I also do not grieve without hope.
Something that has changed for me is seeing the difference between when my son leaves for a run or bike ride, and when one of my African American friends’ son does the same. It’s different. I am no longer seeing strangers in these brutal videos. I am seeing my brothers and friends. It has become way more personal for me. Yes, it’s harder. But it is necessary.
Maybe you could think of an African American friend or co-worker that you could call? Ask them how they are processing our country’s current events. And then listen. Remember the ministry of presence. Be present with him or her. You don’t have to have the right words. What’s the opposite of judgement? Perhaps it is Curiosity. Be curious rather than defensive. Be open-minded that perhaps your worldview has been flawed. Be humble enough to repent and ask forgiveness from those you have hurt. Yes, it’s hard. But it’s worth it.
For Believers – Pray. Search the Scriptures to see what the Lord says about justice…about creation and life. Be open-minded and ask the Spirit to reveal any offensive way in you and lead you in the way everlasting.
Thank you for reading. And thanks for listening. We are praying for our country and world. We are praying for our people as image-bearers of God. We are trusting that God’s sovereign hand continues to rule and reign. We are committed to being the hands and feet of Christ with humble reliance upon Him as He leads us.
*For financial planning clients of Rivertree Financial Planning: Please contact us as soon as possible if you have had any changes in circumstances, objectives, goals or risk tolerance.
Scott is the founder and a partner at Rivertree Financial Planning. Scott and his wife Helen currently reside in Jackson, MS with their three children Artur, Taylor, and Molly. They are members of Redeemer Church, PCA in Jackson.