I was challenged this morning by a pastor and friend who spoke to a group of fathers. The question initially posed was this: “What do I most need today in regards to decisions?” Answer: “Someone ahead of me, and someone behind me.” In other words, we were challenged to have a mentor and mentee in our lives. We briefly journeyed through the life of Luke in the Bible. Luke traveled with Paul. Paul was ahead of Luke. Luke also had Theophilus in his life who he mentored.
When we need counsel, we so often go to our peers who are most likely facing the same struggles (and making the same mistakes). Don’t get me wrong – I do think it’s helpful to share our struggles and burdens with peers; but are our peers best for counsel? Or could it be wiser to receive counsel from someone ahead of us in life and who has already faced the struggles? My pastor friend would argue the latter. How would this look for financial decisions?
Why can taking this step be hard for us? I’d say that simply asking for help doesn’t come naturally to us. We might be ashamed of our circumstances or situation. We might think that no one else gets it. We might think there’s just no better way than what we’ve come up with ourselves. As a person who struggles with trying to think myself through situations, I have come to learn that sharing and processing what I’m going through with others is extremely helpful; and that sharing with someone who is ahead of me is even better.
Think about financial decisions that you have made during your lifetime – the good, the bad, the ugly. How about buying your first house? First car? First timeshare (uh oh…). What did you learn? Now rewind: If you would have received counsel from someone at least ten years ahead of you, do you think the bad/ugly decisions could have been avoided? Probably so.
What about your peers? Most likely they are signing up for the same college credit card only to get a free t-shirt. Then yes, that “free” t-shirt ends up costing you hundreds to thousands of dollars in interest for the tv or vacation you really couldn’t afford. What if you had sought counsel from someone at least 10 years ahead of you who showed financial responsibility? Do you think that they would have advised you differently than your peers? Most likely so.
What about us – financial planners? We are experts in this field, but does that mean we don’t need to seek financial counsel from someone ahead of us? I have been challenged to seek out a financial mentor. Just as you, we’ve found that it’s 100% impossible to check all emotions at the door when it comes to our own financial decisions. We need sound guidance – the same guidance we give to our clients.
As we seek out a mentor, we’re also challenged to seek out someone behind us that we can help. How do we find these people? Pray that the Lord would bring these people into your life. Open your eyes to those already around you. They may not be far away.
In closing, I’ll share wise counsel that the speaker received from someone ahead of him during a critical time in his life: “Make decisions today that you will least regret in ten years.” That’s good. What’s this all about? Priorities.
So now what? Make that call. Send that text or email. Take the risk. I just did.
*For financial planning clients of Rivertree Financial Planning: Please contact us as soon as possible if you have had any changes in circumstances, objectives, goals or risk tolerance.